Here are 9 signs your in a healthy relationship!
Healthy relationships are not always as exciting, passionate, and glamorous as they appear in movies. Like everything in life, there are happy times, and there are hard times. What sets healthy relationships apart from unhealthy ones is that healthy couples stick with each other through thick and thin. Even when they fight, they can cool down, talk about it, and always work things out.
Are you curious about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships? For starters, couples will consistently love and support each other in healthy relationships even if they don’t always agree on everything. While it’s definitely not the case in unhealthy relationships.
Article contents:
- Am I in an unhealthy relationship?
- 9 signs of a healthy relationship
- Love
- Affection
- Trust
- Communication
- Friendship
- Disagreement
- Fun
- Change and flexibility
- Boundaries
- Evaluate your relationship
Am I in an unhealthy relationship?
You might feel guilty for wondering whether your relationship is healthy or unhealthy… But don’t let that get to you because it’s common for people to be trapped in negative relationships without even realizing it. For instance, you might feel like your partner loves you most of the time, but not all the time… So what about those other times? Or you might notice that they may apologize for their wrongdoings or mistakes, but are they changing their behavior?
Talking to a mental health therapist can help you gain clarity about your situation. An online platform like Ayadi has a network of over 50 qualified bilingual therapists who understand our culture and traditions; you can access high-quality mental health care that is affordable, 100% confidential, and judgment-free.
9 signs of a healthy relationship
- Love
As simple as that, and as complex as that… Healthy couples love and care for each other. If the relationship is new, they will like each other in more than just physical attraction or lust. A healthy relationship is built on more than just physical intimacy and familiarity. Love is not easy like we see in music, movies, or tv shows, it’s built on hard work and a real connection, and in most cases, it’s worth the effort.
If you feel like the love is fading in your relationship, it might be a warning sign. If that happens, you must address it and check whether your feelings are temporary or not. In some cases, the love can be rekindled with a bit of effort from both sides of the relationship.
Questions to consider:
- Do I love them?
- Will I still want to be with them if they were poor?
- Will I still want to be with them if they were sick?
- Is there a deep connection between us?
- Affection
Individuals in healthy relationships are affectionate towards one another. They don’t fear kissing or hugging each other; they enjoy holding hands and cuddling. Although the level of displayed affection might change or fluctuate over time, it’s important to note that if you can’t stand to touch each other or express your love and feelings to one another, then that’s usually a sign that something is wrong in the relationship.
Remember that relationships can go through hot and cold periods. Still, it’s important to note when either one of you loses their attraction to the other or if there’s an underlying issue causing you to avoid being affectionate.
Questions to consider:
- When was the last time you hugged each other?
- Do either of you cringe or pull away from physical contact?
- If you feel drifted apart, what happened to cause this change?
- Trust
A healthy relationship requires a great deal of trust. You should be able to tell each other everything in a good relationship, not only because secrets have their way of coming out eventually, but also because you feel safe enough to share anything you want to. Healthy couples spend time together, but they also have separate lives outside the relationship, including work, hobbies, and different circles of friends, which is why trust is crucial.
Healthy couples can spend time together and apart without being overcome by jealousy or suspicion. If these feelings come up, they are more likely to talk about it and smooth things over before it becomes more significant. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships allow these feelings to get worse until inevitable blow-ups occur.
Questions to consider:
- Do they trust you? Do you trust them?
- Are you lying about anything in your relationship? If so, why?
- When they do things without you, do you feel jealous or get suspicious?
- Communication
A big part of maintaining a healthy relationship filled with trust is healthy communication. It’s important to remember that your partner cannot read your mind, even if you think what you’re feeling or thinking is very obvious. You both need to communicate and feel comfortable and safe to tell each other anything, good or bad.
This is especially essential when life gets hard, and you’re faced with any kind of trouble. You must be willing to talk things over and find solutions instead of letting things fester and turn into even more significant problems. Avoidance and miscommunication can often result in an unhealthy and toxic relationship.
Questions to consider:
- Are you comfortable talking to them when something good AND bad happens?
- Do you fear judgment or criticism when you open up about things?
- Do either or both of you tend to avoid confrontation?
- Friendship
If you’re in a healthy relationship, you probably consider your partner one of your friends, if not your best friend. You know things about each other that no one else does, and sometimes they seem like the person you’re most ‘yourself’ around. Maybe you were friends before you got together, or maybe not, but over time the two of you have developed a special connection.
Sometimes when you jump into a relationship without getting to know the person first, you might realize later that you don’t have much in common. This can strain a relationship because these couples tend to struggle to find things to talk about or do together. If you aren’t friends, it can be hard to enjoy spending time together, preventing you from building a solid and healthy relationship.
Questions to consider:
- Do you enjoy spending time with them?
- Are you an important part of each other’s lives?
- Do you find you have anything in common?
- Disagreement
Disagreement is a very natural part of every healthy relationship. All couples argue and disagree with each other from time to time; it’s actually a healthy thing. The difference between disagreement in a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship is talking through it and coming to a middle ground.
So if a minor disagreement sends you to a larger argument that ends with disrespecting each other with name-calling or other abusive behaviors, then your relationship might not be as healthy as you think. Healthy couples can maturely resolve disputes, even if some harsh words are said in the heat of the moment. Unhealthy couples usually leave things unresolved or bring up past issues in new arguments.
Questions to consider:
- When you disagree, do you talk about it calmly, or do things usually get heated?
- Do you ever come to a mutual compromise? Or does one have to give something up for the other?
- Does either of you hold on to grudges when you don’t get your way?
- Fun
One of the most essential characteristics of a healthy relationship is your ability to have fun together. There will be plenty of times in any healthy relationship that isn’t fun, but finding a balance is vital. Making sure you include both fun and relaxation time into your relationship is a powerful way to keep things exciting and remind you why you’re important to one another.
When couples fall into a routine consumed by work and barely make time for each other, their relationship will usually suffer, and things will get boring. This can make it challenging to be around each other because stress builds up, and either one of you won’t have an outlet.
Questions to consider:
- When was the last time you had a good hearty laugh together?
- Do you ever do anything spontaneous and exciting?
- Are you stuck in a pattern of going to work and staying at home all the time?
- Change and flexibility
Another meaningful sign is being flexible with change. Whether we like it or not, people are constantly growing and changing. So you can’t expect your partner to stay the same forever. You’re sharing a life with another person, and your resistance to their change can stop them from growing and becoming their true selves.
Whether it is an expected or unexpected change in your life, individuals in a healthy relationship are capable of embracing change flexibly. Sometimes life will throw curveballs at you, and you’re each going to have to go with the flow sometimes. It’s important that you have each other throughout all the changes life throws at you.
Questions to consider:
- When things change in your relationship, do they cause a lot of tension?
- Do they always bring up things from your past that you’re trying to put behind you?
- Do you support each other’s dreams and goals, even if they change over time?
- Boundaries
Setting boundaries is critical to maintaining a healthy connection with your partner. Healthy boundaries reflect your principles, rules, and guidelines to how you want to treat yourself and how you want others to treat you.
In a healthy relationship, you must effectively communicate your personal and emotional needs and boundaries with your significant other. That is because lacking boundaries often lead to a never-ending cycle of hurt feelings, giving up a big part of yourself, lack of privacy and agency, and possibly emotional manipulation, whether it’s intentional or not.
Questions to consider:
- Are you constantly sacrificing your needs for them?
- Do you have a separate life outside the relationship?
- Do you feel comfortable asking for space from them?
Evaluate your relationship
While this may not be an exhaustive list of what makes a relationship healthy, it includes some of the vital signs and characteristics. Don’t worry if you’re feeling like your relationship isn’t as healthy as you thought it would be after reading this because there are plenty of ways an unhealthy relationship can turn into a healthy one.
No one deserves to be in an unhappy relationship, and this is where therapy can help. It can help you see things clearer and come up with a way to mend an unhealthy relationship or even get out of an unhealthy relationship.